“Before proceeding further, the Court notes that this case involves two extremely likable lawyers, who have together delivered some of the most amateurish pleadings ever to cross the hallowed causeway into Galveston, an effort which leads the Court to surmise but one plausible explanation. Both attorneys have obviously entered into a secret pact complete with hats, handshakes and cryptic words to draft their pleadings entirely in crayon on the back sides of gravy-stained paper place mats, in the hope that the Court would be so charmed by their child-like efforts that their utter dearth of legal authorities in their briefing would go unnoticed. Whatever actually occurred, the Court is now faced with the daunting task of deciphering their submissions. With Big Chief tablet readied, thick black pencil in hand, and a devil-may-care, laugh-in-the-face-of-death, life-on-the-razor’s-edge sense of exhilaration, the Court begins.”
— Bradshaw v. Unity Marine Corp., Inc., 147 F. Supp. 2d 668 (S.D. Tex. 2001)
Oh boy
I googled the full judgement (x) and it just… keeps going like that. The judge has no chill and also may be my new hero.
“Despite the continued shortcomings of Plaintiff’s supplemental
submission, the Court commends Plaintiff for his vastly improved choice
of crayon. Brick Red is much easier on the eyes than Goldenrod, and stands
out much better amidst the mustard splotched about Plaintiff’s
briefing. But at the end of the day, even if you put a calico dress on
it and call it Florence, a pig is still a pig.”
People reblogging this and saying that “breasts are for feeding babies” or “there’s nothing sexual about this” are well-intentioned but missing the point. Breasts aren’t necessarily for feeding babies; @3liza made a good post about mammalian breasts in general and how human ones are Like That for a few reasons we don’t know, but not all of them are milk-related.
And you know what? There IS something sexual about this! At least for a few participants! It’s Dyke March! It’s a celebration of women who love women! Love can include sex! I mean, not always, but I think making this into sterile “everyone has tits and it’s not sexual” undercuts the message of acceptance. Some people are frolicking nonsexually. Some people are frolicking with horny intent. And they both ought to be allowed to go out in public because straight people are publicly horny all the time too! It doesn’t make breasts always sexual, but in this case it isn’t NOT sexual, you know? Some people are there just vibing (there are a few kids, in other shots, and a few people I think are men), some people are their and are horny lesbians. Nobody is being inappropriate to the kids. Peace on Earth. Life is beautiful.
Just like how on Halloween, a cis man going shirtless is slut behavior, but if he’s just going on a run, it’s not slut behavior, he’s just warm. A cis man wearing a harness for rock climbing isn’t the same as a cis man wearing a harness during Folsom Street Fair. Bathing suits for cis women are more revealing than underwear for cis women a lot of the time, but the latter are inappropriate to wear out and the former are totally fine (and in fact you’re kind of seen as a prude if you have a bathing suit with sleeves). It’s contextual! Women should be allowed to go shirtless for nonsexual reasons, it’s only fair, but sometimes it’s sexy and that’s okay.
Otherwise we’d have to play a game where we codify what is and what is not horny behavior, and since everyone is turned on by SOMEthing (even taking into account cultural norms), we’d have to develop mind-reading technology. We’d be assuming these people argue in good faith (they don’t) and in doing so we’d be forced to drive ourselves crazy, talking ourselves into horny impossible feedback loops. I think this desire to take accusations of grooming in good faith and self-interrogate and self-police out of concern for potential harm done might account for puritanical tendencies online. It’s also why attempts to penalize horny but legalize non-horny are so funny– see ‘female-presenting nipples’ 'outside of artistic or medical contexts,’ or the older “I know [porn] when I see it.” See people blurring pictures of their feet in pictures where they’re totally clothed, due to fears of horny. It’s ridiculous and the people doing the groomer panic know that. Don’t play their game.
The ACTUAL point is: If the ‘think of the children’ types really cared about not exposing their kids to sexually charged scenarios, they would not take their kids outside. Beset on all sides by Mardi Gras, Halloween, slutty Christmas costumes, and, of course, ads, these kids would be groomed to be straight from conception.
I wish I could tell Redditors that their abusive parent, in all likelihood, did not have a real diagnosable personality disorder and that armchair diagnosing them with a cluster b personality disorder and then villainizing the mentally ill is not helping anyone. What happened to “my dad was an asshole. a fucking bastard. a jerk who hurt me very badly.” why is it now “my father was a malignant narcissist. I was a victim of narcissistic abuse, not just emotional and physical child abuse. he definitely had NPD and that’s why he was so evil. and I know because I read it online”.
There are many people did have abusive and/or neglectful parents who happened to be struggling with a real, tangible, diagnosed mental illness. It can be helpful to look back and think and know “Some of my parent’s behavior was exacerbated by their hoarding disorder, chronic depression, substance use disorder etc etc. That is an explanation but not an excuse. It was their responsibility to protect me, to try to get better and they failed. They did not continue to hurt me because they were unwell but because they were abusive and selfish. I have a genetic and environmental predisposition to develop the same illness and behaviors so I’m hyperaware of my own health and relationship to keep the cycle from repeating.” but that’s not what the whole ‘narcissistic abuse’ community is about. It’s the opposite of introspective and empathetic and mental health conscious and socially aware.
ALT
